Well Helloooooo There

My day, in a nutshell:

Dee-Da: "Mommy, what's tha-"

I started to look up. I started to scream. None of that happened completely, because THAT'S when a kamikaze squirrel leaped from my neighbor's pine tree onto my body. I should mention that we were in the backyard, kids playing, me tanning. In a bikini. Laying down. I may need a rabies shot, I'm not sure.

...yeah, that pretty much covers it. Lovely day.

Pretty wild couple of months, come to that.

Hey- I'm back.  ;-)

The YOURGIANTFUCKINGHEADISBLOCKINGTHEENTIRESCREEN Games

Took my son to see The Hunger Games last night.  We've read the books.  We're super psyched. We've got the popcorn & soda.  We're in the seats.  Theater is panic-attack-inducing crowded, but its opening weekend, so I expected this. My soda tastes funny.  Hmm.  Ok, so 20 minutes of previews are starting and....woah there, big guy! Where do you think you'll be parking that huge melon of yours? 

Seriously?! Sigh.  Much too crowded to move now.   Lean way over in my son's space for the duration of the movie so I can regain a bit of view-able big screen real estate.  Could I ask for better offspring?  He's all, "Its cool, home skillet. That guy's a douche nugget."  Best. Kid. Ever.  And what's up with this soda?  I said Cherry Coke, right?  Cherry Coke!  Y U No cherry enough?!  Movie is awesome.  I'm so into the movie that I don't even notice how tweaked my back is from leaning at an extreme angle for 2 1/2 hours.  And as we're leaving, my son says, "I think they mixed up our sodas.  Your Cherry Coke was super nom.  Imma get Cherry Coke next time on purpose."     O.o

Totally worth it.  :-)  You read the books or see the movie yet?

Plumber-Schlumber

We said we wouldn't speak of it again, so... 

My friend & I did NOT spend an hour or so in her basement attempting to un-plumb the U-bend under her shower so that regretfully aromatic slimy hairballs could be removed.

We did NOT realize the obvious & easy way to do this *after* industrial lube and a hammer were used.

And she definitely did NOT slash at me with a putty knife, cutting my foot with said slimy rusty putty knife, making me recall my last tetanus shot & pour burning H2O2 all over it before slathering it with triple antibiotic ointment.

She DID give me a Hello Kitty band-aid & buy me lunch, though, 'cause what're friends for?    ;-)
#Ilovemesomepam

Respect the Mart

Overheard at WalMart (of all places) this evening:

Mom: Take your hat off indoors.

Son: Why?

Mom: Its respectful. Take it off.

Son: There are tons of guys in here with hats on!

Mom: (gritting teeth) Right, so what can you do to make yourself stand out from those disrespectful guys?

Son: (earnestly) I could fart really loud!

I think she grabbed his hat off his head & hit him with it. Not sure because I was squinting through tears of silent laughter. He was definitely rubbing his hatless head, though.

See? With mamas like that, here's hope for the next generation.  ;-)

First Day of Spring!

It's over 85 degrees in Michigan!

My girls and my nephew impersonating children who are having fun because they're not playing in freezing cold hose water: 

Guess who's practicing her wet t-shirt contest pose?  That one's future is uncertain...

They had a blasty blast for exactly 14 seconds, at which point they announced that they wanted to come inside for hot chocolate.

Also, just after taking this picture, I sat on a bee.  Ahh, spring.  O.o